Sunday, August 28, 2011

Republicans Prepared To Disagree With President Obama's Handling Of Hurricane Irene

SYGM News -- Even as Hurricane Irene continues to batter the East Coast of the United States, the Republican Party is already preparing its response to President Obama's handling of this weather phenomenon.

"I weep for America, because I'm a Good American."

Speaker of the House John Boehner has already disagreed with how the President is handling the aftermath of the storm, even though the storm is still active.

"We are not sure how the President will respond to this, or how FEMA will respond.  But you can guarantee that it will be a call that is bad for Americans, and bad for this economy.  We are prepared to disagree with the President and his administration on how to handle this, and we are prepared to block any aid that FEMA plans to distribute, unless there are some budgetary offsets on the table.  As of now, we have seen none."

Republican Presidential candidate and Texas Governor Rick Perry is also ready to be proactive in countering the President's response.

"Just as I do while serving as the President of Texas, God Bless Texas, I'm willing to do as serving as the President of the United States, even though I hate Washington.  I would have handled this completely differently than Obama, even if I don't know how he is directly responding.  I would do my best to assure that Ponzi schemes such as aid from FEMA and the National Guard units across the country are not wasted on liberal elites in New York City."

Congressman Michele Bachmann (R-MN), another Presidential candidate, chimed in that she is sure that President Obama and his "socialist policies" will do nothing to aid the people of this country.

"I haven't seen an effective response to a natural disaster since the outstanding way (former FEMA director) Mike Brown handled the Katrina mishap.  He was doing a heckuva job then, and he'll do a heckuva job in my administration."

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Coming Attractions... In A World...

...Samuel L. Bronkowitz Presents:  "Shut'cher Gobbige Mowf!"



This is a sneak preview of my relaunched blog.  Here is what you can expect when I tell people to "shut they gobbige mowfs"...

You can expect face-meltingly awesome satire, like a sneak preview from R. Kelly's memoirs.

You can expect scathing commentary, such as my thoughts on Republican Convention's "Tribute To 9/11."

When conservatives first started railing about "taking the country back", I had something to say.

There may even be more personal posts as well.

Stay tuned!

Now, let me answer some questions that no one have asked.

Q:  Why that title?  What does it mean?
A:  When I was in Paratrooper school, one of the Airborne instructors was possibly psychotic.  One of his favorite quotes was "Shut your garbage mouths", especially when we expressed our agony at doing a metric ton of push-ups, or when we expressed dismay at practicing our drops onto a steel rebar beam that poked through the sawdust.  And then there was the bunny-hops.  Oh, the bunny hops.

Q:  Are the above things the only things you'll talk about?
A:  No.  I'm a liberal/progressive Christian, and I will talk about all of the things out there that work my nerves... like the Evangelical Right's distortion of Christianity, racism, local politics, national politics, pop culture, the fact that I Used To Love H.E.R. (tm - Common), and so forth.